mental health

My Poem Raising Mental Health Awareness


mental health

Mental Health Awareness

I want to dedicated this poem to those who are suffering from mental health issues. I am not good in poetry so please read with open heart. As this is to raise awareness about mental health. There are is so much societal and cultural sigma surrounding mental health, that it makes those suffer feel lonely and trapped. With this poem that I want to say to everyone who are suffering. You are not alone. Their is always help. Life may seem hard and out of control, but if we all work together there is nothing we can stop. Please don’t feel despair. The help is here, all you have to do is ask.

Moment of Despair

By Munziba Khan

I look at the twinkling stars with a sigh
With pain my heart, in bed I lie.
Once it was there and now it’s gone
What was so alive, now dead and gone.
Like a zombie I feel like a living dead.
With a heavy heart I feel so dread. 
I close my eyes, I see the fire.
Burning everything in sight, 
Leaving a view so dire. 
I try to breathe with a monster in my heart,
Which can’t be seen but is sour and tart.
In the world, there is so much violence and hate.
There is grief and anger trying to control our fate.
As experts in deception,
They fool themselves often
All the lies and deceptions,  make life dull and rotten.
I hate getting flashbacks
For things I don’t want to remember
The struggles I have, make my heart so tender.  
I drown my pain, in the deep ocean of despair.
My broken soul is screaming, fighting to grasp fresh air.
With eyelids closed, it comes back to me.
In sleep I fear, I will not be free.
The monster is inside, can’t be seen.
Making me feel lost, anxious, trapped and uncertain,
Pricking deep into my heart and into my skin.
The mask I wear is the one I want you to see.
The mask I wear is what you want me to be.
I refuse to be what you want me to be.
I may not be perfect but I am me.
But don't be in fear as there is hope
Light glows in each of us that helps us cope.
One thing I know, when things goes wrong
Life has a reason that makes us strong.
I stand with two paths in front of me. 
I took the path less travelled by,
And I know I will be free.

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CAUSES CLOSE TO MY HEART

PLEASE DONATE DIRECTLY TO THE ORGANIZATIONS THROUGH MY FUNDRAISING LINKS:

I consider myself fortunate to have good health, a full-time job, and a roof over my head. However, there are still so many people who are struggling to put food on their tables. Please join me to help those who are struggling. If you have good health, full-time jobs, and a roof over your head, please join me to help those who are struggling. Whether you donate $5 or $500, you will make a huge difference in someone’s life.

No Kid Hungry:

America’s kids need us. The coronavirus is closing schools nationwide, and millions of vulnerable children are losing the school meals they depend on. For some, it’s the only food they’ll receive on a given day. We have a plan to feed kids, but we need your help today to continue our work to ensure every kid gets three meals a day. You can click above to donate to my gofundme page donation going directly to the organization, or you can click on the direct link to the site.

Food Bank of Maryland:

Help make sure all hungry Marylanders have reliable access to nutritious food when you join Sustainers Circle.

Manna Food Center:

PLEASE DONATION ANY AMOUNT YOU CAN AND SHARE THE POST WITH EVERYONE YOU KNOW.

Manna Food Center, a nonprofit organization, strives to eliminate hunger in Montgomery County through food distribution, education, and advocacy. Millions of children go to bed hungry in America every year, sadly it’s worse now! Today, 14 million children regularly miss meals — three times more than during the Great Recession and five times more than before the pandemic.

Many parents have lost their job during the pandemic. Sadly, that shows no sign of stopping. Your donation can bring relief to the millions worried about where their next meal will come from. It’s even worse for Latino and Black families, whose rates of nutrition insecurity have spiked to 25% and 30%. In the world’s wealthiest country, this is unconscionable.

Even before the pandemic, the U.S. Department of Agriculture estimated 37 million people in America struggled with hunger and nutrition. The Centers for Disease Control reports 76% of people killed by COVID-19 had at least one underlying condition, most of which were diet-related. Diet-related diseases also fuel skyrocketing health care costs, which rose from 5% to 28% of the federal budget in the past 50 years.

Let’s make the world better, kinder, brighter. Every dollar you give will create real change. $1 will feed 5 hungry children here in the US, but $1,000 will feed 50,000 starving children overseas. Be the good in the lives of many by giving right now.

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I am free

I Am Free – The Story of My Personal Epiphany


Hi there my beautiful lovelies! Hope you guys are doing and staying safe. Today I want to talk about my transformation and how it has set me free. I am free.

Unload The Old And Embrace The New:

i am free

My dear lovelies! Before I dug deeper into the subject of my freedom, let’s go back a little further. You guys already know this story. Since childhood, I have been constantly dealing with anxiety, distraction, and more anxiety. Every decision I made, I second-guessed myself and if things go right, I would have a panic attack. I was sinking deeper and deeper into darkness, and ADHD did not help.

The First Step:

Sinking deeper into the dark world of paranoia, anxiety, and negativity is a big burden to deal with. I always felt palpitation and nausea and all other physical symptoms that became very overwhelming and suffocating. I started burying my agony but manifested into overwhelming physical pain. I ended up passing out and throwing up a lot. Of course, the scientific world, the medical world called it Gastroparesis and low blood pressure. I was drowning.

After a few years of medications and intense side effects, I stopped throwing up and gained weight. However, I kept feeling sick to my stomach. I could not breathe, I was drowning in my own pain. With that pain, I finished my undergraduate and graduate degrees and started my first full-time job. It was in that job, I found the light.

I was helping with a clinical study on the impact of guided meditation on stress and anxiety among help care professionals. My boss could sense my struggles and asked me to just participate in the study without being a study participant. So my journey began.

Acknowledge The Problem Without Being Consumed By It:

As I have mentioned in previous posts, it was during one of those study sessions, I found myself, or at least the beginning. When I realized how bound and overwhelmed I was, I started questioning myself and everything I stood for. For the first time in my life, I felt so lost. Even when I was a college freshman, I knew what I wanted and I had my life figured out. Boy was I wrong.

After doing guided imagery and meditation for a few weeks, I became lost. I fell like a tiny fish in a big ocean with fins cut off and unable to swim. It happened for a few years and then came the day when I felt completely alone for the first time in my life.

My dear lovelies! I lost my grandma, my guardian angel. With her death, I started questioning death and dying and my purpose. I felt remorse for not spending more time with her when she was alive. My grandma had such a strong belief in me. Of her 16 grandchildren, I was her favorite. With my grandma gone, I was depressed, frustrated. I was alone. It was during that time an opportunity arrived. I completed my second graduate degree, which kept me distracted for two years. After graduation, I got the chance to get certified through a 6 weeks course on mindful meditation. It was the first step towards my freedom.

Using the Right Brain:

The first thing I learned to use in mindfulness meditation is to learn to use the right brain often. I started pained again. With those right brain exercise, my mind started to open up to see beyond me and other selfish attitudes. My right brain started to open up my mind, until a couple of years ago, when I lost my aunt to lung cancer and my uncle a year later to pancreatic cancer.

Perhaps the most devastating event for me was the diagnosis of my RA related interstitial lung disease or RA-ILD, characterized by scarring of the lung. It regressed back and ended up in the Emergency Room several times for migraine and gastrointestinal issues.

Stairways to Freedom:

Even with my regular guided meditation, I felt lost. However, it all changed last year, when I saw the earth’s true beauty. I was in Hawaii. My dear lovelies! My trip to heaven felt like divine intervention. I was up every single day, watch the beautiful sunrise against the backdrops of the Diamondhead Crater.

It was the beginning of the end of my sleeping in. The beauty of mother nature made so mesmerized by its beauty. It then hit me, nature is so beautiful and we are all robbing it blindly with our pollutions, and carbon footprint. I realized that life is more than the McDonalized society we are living in, it’s more than the robotic emotionless world. Once I got to see the beautiful mountains and all the exotic flowers and lives, the more I appreciate its beauty. I evolved completely.

The Final Straw?

Every day of my stay in Hawaii felt like constant meditation. I was feeling lighter and freer. Until this year, when COVID-19 hit. The death of millions worldwide and over 218,000 here in the US brought the whole perspective of living in the current moment took a whole new meaning for me.

Hearing the story of so many people and the deterioration of my mom’s health due to lack of timely follow-up interventions, made me realized we cannot take life and our loved ones for granted. It was during that time, the principle of living in the moment got instilled in me. I have been freed.

My dear lovelies! The devastating pandemic made me so much more empathetic than I have been my entire life. I starting seeing my anger disappearing. I become more forgiving and happy. I am light as a feather and am ready to fly. For the first time, my life became more than my physical life. It became more about the spiritual one.

Now, I am no longer worried about things I cannot control. I started seeing people who used to make me angry and pieces of the big puzzle of life. For the first time, life has more than just me. When you see the biggest massacre of human life by an unrelenting pandemic, how can life be less than beyond just you?

I don’t know if I have awakened my spirit, but I have awakened my inner self. I no longer get trapped by my physical symptoms. It is very true. In fact, one physician told me last week that some people screams and cries in the ER, and then the various studies find nothing, then there are individuals, who look normal but the tests show a scary outcome. Which one is me?

You guessed it right, I am the later one. My doctors are more worried about me than I am. I just know things happen to you when you are ready for it. I am so much for fortunate than others. I have a job, I have my family, I am loving co-workers. I am grateful for every moment of my life and look at me with compassion. I am free.

My dear beautiful lovelies! Have you experienced self-epiphany moments in your lives? Please comment below.

I have not come to this point in my life easier. I am mindful and try to live my life intentionally. I live each and every day as if there is no tomorrow, as this pandemic has taught us more than anything, there may not be a tomorrow. More than ever, I am open to possibility. I know that I am a small fish in the big oceans, but instead of drowning, I am learning of my surroundings to ride the waves. I am morphing into someone who measures success by the difference I make in this world.

In the meantime, please subscribe to this blog or follow me if you have a WordPress account.  Don’t forget to check out my Facebook Page and follow me on Instagram @forevernij. Are you on Bloglovin? Also please subscribe to my YouTube channel. Let’s support each other. Please follow me and comment below with your information so that I can follow you back.

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