Simplicity – The Medicine for Complex Time

Simiplicity

Have you have ever thought about going back to simplicity when it comes to surviving a pandemic, or traumatic situation? That’s exactly what I did, and that has made a huge difference.

What is Simplicity:

simplicity
My artwork of the pandemic period. All copyright reserved.

According to the dictionary, simplicity is “the quality or condition of being easy to understand or do.”

During the complete shutdown period at the beginning of the pandemic, it was depressive at best. Then, I asked myself what would my childhood self do in that situation? The answer was simpler than I realized. My childhood version would spend hours drawing. I would actually immerse myself in my drawing. I wasn’t much of a TV person. Growing up with ADHD, I get lost on something that would be given. Yes, I would get easily distracted, but drawing gave me the chance to get lost in myself.

My artwork of the pandemic period. All copyright reserved.

Hence during the pandemic, and during the craziest and hardest times of my life, simplicity came to my rescue. The simple act of drawing was my savior. Each time I drew it took me into a world of imagination. It made me feel free and liberated. For someone with anxiety and PSTD, the simple art of drawing was my escape.

My artwork of the pandemic period. All copyright reserved.

Have you chosen simplicity during times of hardship? Whether building with lego sets, drawing, reading, or anything else, it’s the key to our mental freedom. I look forward to your comments.

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Yoga Nidra – Deep Relaxation Meditation For Sleep

yoga nidra
yoga nidra

Hi there my beautiful lovelies! Hope you guys are doing well and staying safe. Today, I want to share with you Yoga Nidra, a deep relaxation meditation for sleep. Hope that the video will help you with fall into deep relaxation and drift you to sleep. Yoga nidra slows the wavelengths in your mind as you enter a sleep-like state. The experience often starts with sensing the body and mindfully breathing to trigger the relaxation response in your body. It trains your mind and body for this relaxation process so you can reach a deeper state of sleep.

In addition, yoga nidra allows you to drop into a sleep-like state with relaxed brainwave activity. Slow alpha waves, and even slower theta waves, produce deep relaxation and are the entry points to the subconscious. It is a practice that everyone, from children to seniors, can do. It’s easy to follow at any age. All that your body needs to do is lie down on the floor. And even if you can’t lie down on the floor, you can still do this practice seated.

Yoga Nidra

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The Struggle With Living Intentionally

I have been working hard to live intentionally in the past few years. According to the Good Trade blog site, “Intentional living means understanding your fundamental beliefs and values, and then actively living your life in line with those values.” Every time I am thrown off my course and I tumble and fall, I tell myself not to let my feelings rule the day, instead let my values take the shot. Life may not be just black and white; through intentional living, we can choose our values and beliefs, or we can let others control our lives. It should be easy to do that. Is it? Living intentionally is a lifelong practice and requires staying in touch is our values and beliefs.

I have been struggling mentally for years. I always felt that while the whole world was speeding ahead, I was left behind. No matter what I did, I could not shake that feeling of “something is not right”. I got trained in mindful meditation and living in the moment. Nevertheless, I could not get rid of that something wrong feeling. I was less stressed but not mentally free. I can still remember, before taking mindfulness-based meditation training, I participated in a clinical study as an observer.

living intentionally

I was told to close my eyes and let my hand draw whatever it wants, and in turn, activate my creative right brain. I was genuinely surprised when I saw a picture of me with my mouth taped shut while I was wearing a straitjacket. It was then I decided to act. I meditated every day, though exceedingly difficult at first, but with practice, I was able to handle my stress, and how I react to it. I felt free for the first time in my life, but I still could not get rid of the feeling of being left behind. It was not until I learned about intentional living that I felt in control of my life. I have learned that it was not about living minimally but deciding how I react to stressors and hardship. I did not trust my feelings but my beliefs. I started asking why before taking any steps.

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5 Minutes Meditation Music | Healing Music For Stress Relief

Hi there my beautiful lovelies! Hope you guys are doing well and staying safe. Today, I want to share with you a simple 5 minutes healing meditation music that will help you with stress relief and unwind after a long day.

Meditation

With our busy schedule, short medication music can help us take a short time to unwind and relieve stress with 5-minutes healing meditation music. Hope you enjoy the relaxing moments and cultivate positive energy with this meditation music. Relax after work. I would love to hear your feedback.

meditation

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Intentional Living – My Struggles & Triumphs

I have been working hard to live intentionally in the past few years. According to the Good Trade blog site, “Intentional living means understanding your fundamental beliefs and values, and then actively living your life in line with those values.” Every time I am thrown off my course and I tumble and fall, I tell myself not to let my feelings rule the day, instead let my values take the shot. Life may not be just black and white; through intentional living, we can choose our values and beliefs, or we can let others control our lives. It should be easy to do that. Is it? Living intentionally is a lifelong practice and requires staying in touch is our values and beliefs.

living intentionally

I have been struggling mentally for years. I always felt that while the whole world was speeding ahead, I was left behind. No matter what I did, I could not shake that feeling of “something is not right”. I got trained in mindful meditation and living in the moment. Nevertheless, I could not get rid of that something wrong feeling. I was less stressed but not mentally free. I can still remember, before taking mindfulness-based meditation training, I participated in a clinical study as an observer. I was told to close my eyes and let my hand draw whatever it wants, and in turn, activate my creative right brain. I was genuinely surprised when I saw a picture of me with my mouth taped shut while I was wearing a straitjacket. It was then I decided to act.

afternoon

I meditated every day, though exceedingly difficult at first, but with practice, I was able to handle my stress, and how I react to it. I felt free for the first time in my life, but I still could not get rid of the feeling of being left behind. It was not until I learned about intentional living that I felt in control of my life. I have learned that it was not about living minimally but deciding how I react to stressors and hardship. I did not trust my feelings but my beliefs. I started asking why before taking any steps.

In conclusion, living intentionally requires us to actively seek life based on our core beliefs. It’s not one shoe fits all option. Each person is unique in his/her own way. Hence, understanding these differences and working to incorporate such differences is the key.

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Mindful Evening

“Evening allows you to forget the bitter worries of your day and get ready for the sweet dreams of night”

– Anonymous

Evening:

evening

I come home, exhausted from the long day’s w. The toll the day has on me is indeed tiring. However, as Robert Frost said, “The woods are lovely, dark and deep. But I have promises to keep, and miles to go before I sleep”. I look at the richly colored peach sky of the evening, and thinking to myself “what a fine opera of the rich colors of dusk ablaze by with the fire of the setting sun, creating a great work of art in my curious soul. My face aglow with the orange rays of the setting sun “before twilight beckons the stars” as mentioned by Angela Abraham.

“I am here and I am grateful”, I tell myself as I prepare to spend quality time with my loved ones and retire for the day. Hence, I sit down and close my eyes. I take few deep breaths and catalog the events of the day. Yes, it is the time for me to communicate silently to myself. I take deep breaths to show my gratitude towards me for getting things done, and acknowledge things that could not be done, as tomorrow is a brand new day and full of new possibilities.

“I rest in the light of forgiveness. I forgive myself and others for that which is done (and better left undone) and also that which is not done (and better if done). I give myself permission to enjoy this moment without guilt. I freely release all uncertainty, regret, and fear.”

– Mary Anne Radmacher

I take few more deep breaths and open my eyes.

I sit with my family by my side, who too are tired from the long days of work. We talk about each other’s day and show gratitude for all the accomplishment and acknowledge things undone and move on, as life is short and if we dwell on the things undone, we can’t move forward. As Lin Yutang said, “Besides the noble art of getting things done, there is the noble art of leaving things undone. The wisdom of life consists in the elimination of non-essentials.” “The whole point of getting things done is knowing what to leave undone” said Oswald Chambers.

Evening is full of gratitude of things done, and time to reconnect with loved ones over dinner, and hope the new day full of possibilities that tomorrow will bring. After dinner I stroll through the path, taken by many, with open arms and a great spirit. The humans have settled down while the nature has just woken up. The chirping sounds of the crickets become louder at night as the moon glow through the dark clear clearing path for the twinkling stars. Oh the symphony of the fireflies dancing the spotlight of the moon and the sequined silver stars.  It is the darkness of the cold night that have paved the path of enlightenment through the glowing moon smiling through the diamond-like twinkling stars. Oh I gazed at the beauty of night and tell myself, “It’s time to hit the hay”, as the night is full of dreams and takes us deeper into our imagination and soul.

May your night is full of dreams chasing you into the sky with no limits. Good Night.

“I love the silent hour of night. For blissful dreams may then arise.”

– Anne Bronte

“The darker the night, the brighter the stars, the deeper the grief, the closer is God.”

– Fyodor Dostoyevsky

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Love Yourself Unconditionally Through Self-Love

self-love

Hi there my beautiful lovelies! Hope you guys are doing well and staying safe. Today, we will be doing affirmations for boosting self-esteem and reaching a higher self.

Self-Love

These affirmations will help boost unconditional self-love and self-compassion with peace, relaxation, and calm. You can do this before sleep and peacefully drift off to sleep nicely. These affirmations for self-esteem, self-love, and relaxation meditation include affirmations to increase self-esteem and confidence and promote a general feeling of calm. Use this guided meditation to love yourself unconditionally.

Importance of Self-Love

Self-love means accepting yourself as you are in this very moment for everything that you are. It means accepting your emotions for what they are and putting your physical, emotional and mental well-being first.

Why Self-Love?

So now we know that self-love motivates you to make healthy choices in life. When you hold yourself in high esteem, you’re more likely to choose things that nurture your well-being and serve you well. These things may be in the form of eating healthy, exercising, or having healthy relationships.

Did you find this affirmation meditation helpful? If yes what about this meditation that helped?

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Mindful Afternoon – No More Midday Slump

Good Afternoon,

“When we are mindful, deeply in touch with the present moment, our understanding of what is going on deepens, and we begin to be filled with acceptance, joy, peace and love.”

— Thich Nhat Hanh

After a busy morning, I settle on my desk, people lazy and drowsy this afternoon. The tryptophan and serotonin from my lunch is competing forcing me to doze of. My eyes are telling me to let go and give in to the demands of the neurotransmitter. My brain is clouded by a thick fog. I can’t see I can’t focus through the haziness of the thick fog. My body is craving for a mid-day pick me up to clear the haze. I take a few deep breaths with with my eyes closed. Now, I am ready.

afternoon

The blazing midday sun shining brightly on my face. I look out the window of see the shimmering in the heat of the midday sun. The sunlit buildings across me, are piercing the clear blue sky and inviting me to join them in bathing in the warm light of the sun. The small pecks of dust mites are dancing in the warm sunlight, slanting through the window. The harmony of the scorching sunlight and the specks are dancing together like shimmering diamonds, and asking for my attention. I look out to watch the fluffy white clouds drift lazily in the gentle breeze.

I join the party with long deep breath followed by short spurts of exhalation. Now, we have a harmonious symphony of rhythm. I have a deep breath and lift my heals. Now my mind choice the rhythmic symphony as I rock up and down for 5 breaths. With these steps I invite my body to join the chorus. My spine moves side-to-side. What an invigorating experience!!!

I take a deep breath and reach my arm to a “T” position. With my inhalation I reach my right arm overhead and sway to the left. I take another breath and bring back my arms back to the “T”. Exhale and sway to right. I continue the rhythmic dance for 5 breaths. I finally end the dance number with a side twist. My body is relax my mind is relaxed and I am energized.

I now close my eyes and let my senses take over. I take few deep breaths with my feet on the ground. I hear the quietness of my surrounding and the sensations of my body. I focus on the bright sun warming my body, my heart beating as the drum beats to the symphony of the sparking specks and the shimmering sunlight. Now my sense of smell, sound, and touch is leading the orchestra. I surrender myself to the senses as I take long breaths.

I am now grounded and energized. Our breaths are always happening in the present moment, always in our bodies. They can act as anchors that can bring us back from our thinking about the past or the future.

I tell myself, “I am here now, I am here”. I get up and take a short 5-minutes walk to continue the practice of being grounded. I am ready to listen, to the blazing midday sun shimmering in the bright blue sky, and sparkling in the horizon. I am taking in the strong golden glow of the sun over the buildings and roads, captivated by the beauty and radiance.

My mind is clear, my body is energized by the afternoon sun, ready to shine and complete the essentials tasks a head. I am read. It’s great time to start with gratefulness, positive thoughts and planning to make it right. Good Afternoon!!!

How do you get over your afternoon slump? Do you have any afternoon rituals that you follow? I look forward to your comments.

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A Mindful Morning

Good Morning from Oahu, HI

Morning

morning

“The morning is good because we remember that no matter what went wrong the previous days, we just got a perfect opportunity to rewrite history and do better.”– Anonymous

Full many a glorious morning have I seen

Flatter the mountain tops with sovereign eye,

Kissing with golden face the meadows green,

Gilding pale streams with heavenly alchemy

– Sonnet 33 by William Shakespeake

The beautiful chirping of the birds singing harmoniously for usher in a new day, creating melodies letting us know that it’s a new beginning. How you start your day, start your morning, will have a major impact on how the rest of your day will go. With the beginning of dawn, come the golden sun, kissing the horizon with its smiling, warmth, and letting the world know that it’s time to let go of the misery and failure of yesterday as the memory of the past, the history, and start a new beginning with glimmer of hope and new dreams kissing your face with love.

Morning, marks the end of the shadow of darkness of yesterday and beginning of the new day, when the glistening sun spreads it glow to cover the darkness of the night and peeps through the windows, and through curtains to awaken us as we lie in bed, so dazzling, so beautiful that it arouses a sense of new beginning in us. Whichever way to decide to start your day, just remember, it’s a new beginning, a fresh start. Don’t dwell on the darkness of yesterday as “yesterday is history, tomorrow is mystery, and today is a gift, that’s why it’s called a present”.

Enjoying a beautiful dawn and a morning cup of Joe in Oahu, HI

As the CTO of Twitpic, Steve Corona, said, “If you study successful people, one thing that you’ll notice really quickly is that they share a bunch of similar habits — and the daily ritual is one of them…And being busy isn’t an excuse. In fact, the busier that you get, the more you need it”. So make it your morning ritual with the sense of new beginning. Start your day with pause. Whether enjoying a morning cup of Joe or catching up on the headlines, take your time to pause. Take a deep breath. Be mindful. Be intentional.

Start the morning, with a few moments of quiet time to yourself instead of rushing out the door. As mentioned by psychologist Nicole Martinez, Psy.D. , LCPC “One of the best ways to start a morning routine is to start out slowly with one where you add little windows of time, and small tasks.” Take this time to take a deep breath and let the pearly golden ray of the sun tenderly kiss your face and spread its warmth like a blanket, so surreal. Bask yourself in the glow of the morning sun, a gentle supernova, just silent and light.

If you like going for a walk and/or run in the morning, let the morning feel your heart and slow as you walk and/or run. Let the music in your ear ground you, and take in the brisk air, and the shining sun playing hid and seek behinds, trees, and building. During this time, be ready to listen, to the mischievous sun, or the chirping birds calling on your take in your surroundings, let the glittering sun shimmering in the morning sky, and sparkling in the horizon. Taken the soft glow of the morning dew, the golden glow of the sun over the flower beds, captivated by the beauty and radiance.

Start your day with gratitude towards yourselves and other. Remember, we are just mare audience of the beautiful world and it is up to us to spread that beauty through our works and attitude. Start your day with gratitude for being able to enjoy the dewy morning. Remember, the morning dew, the flowers, the beautiful sky, don’t fight for the shimmer and glow of the golden sun. They do not seek anyone’s approval or judgement for their beautiful colors. As Shakespeare said in Romeo and Juliet, “That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet”. A rose does not seek the approval or judgement by any human to spread its sweet fragrance. It will continue to spread its beauty, its healing properties and radiant glow, even when there is no human there to appreciate it.

The world is constantly speaking, God is constantly speaking to us through what we see, and we just have to take the time to listen with our eyes. As you start the morning, listen and observe your surroundings. It up to us to decide what we absorb. I chose to listen what is being said each morning, with my senses and my soul and start each day with a sense of new beginning, full of home and radiance. I want to start each day with a sense of gratitude, basking the glow and warmth of the beautiful sun, listening to the harmonious call of the singing birds mischievously playing with their melodies, absorbing the sweet fragrance spread by the glowing flowers, breathing in the crisp fresh air saturated with prayers and dreams. This is what life is all about. I chose gratitude. I chose to appreciate what’s around me like I am the only person in the world. I chose new morning. Good Morning.

Beautiful morning in Oahu, HI

How do you start your morning? Do you have any morning rituals that you follow? I look forward to your comments.

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How My Spiritual Beliefs and Meditation Came to My Rescue

Meditation:

meditation

Hi there my beautiful lovelies! Hope you guys are doing well and staying safe. Today I want to share with you the importance of spiritual beliefs and meditation in my life.

Spiritual and Focused & Mindfulness Meditation:

Past week my mom was in the hospital with infection in her blood. Her underlying lung disease and immunosuppressant medications have her very susceptible to infection which has a high probability taking in turn for the worse. My heartrate in the high 120s and 130s told me how stressed I was. Additionally, the anxiety of the outcome of the election, on top of everything else, made me particularly vulnerable to anxiety and uncontrollable stress.

However, during this time of hardship and constant anxiety, my spiritual beliefs, and meditation, came to my rescue. They gave me feelings of optimism towards the future, and get back to the present moment. As you know, I already rely on meditation a lot for intentional living and the past week, spiritual meditation has been an added comport during times of distress.

My Experience Allowed Me to Feel A Special Connection:

The reason I am bringing this up is due to the current health and humanitarian crisis of coronavirus. Over 241,000 individuals have died from COVID-19, and over 10.4 million are infected with the virus. The past week, all I could think of are the over 241,000 families who lost loved one and over 10.4 million who witched their loved ones deal to the pandemic first hand. For the first time, in months, I was succumbed by overwhelming grief and anxiety. I never felt so close to these over 10.4 million families than I felt last week.

Nevertheless, when meditation alone was not addressing my distress, I turned to spiritual healing. Meditation allowed me to acknowledge the stressors but I needed more to be the support for my mom that she needed to fight for her life. I believe in God but I don’t see myself as a very religious person. However, I relied heavily on spiritual guidance. I started praying everyday and such spiritual meditation has given me hope and the strength to go on. It also strengthened my beliefs to help my mom and deal with the anxiety of the election.

How My Experience Helped My Mom?

My dear lovelies! As I have mentioned in previous post, there are various types of meditation and there is not one right or wrong way to meditate. I relied lot more on meditative music, and praying (spiritual meditation) this time around that made all the difference. My new found strength not only helped me but my mom as well. Every time, she her oxygen level dropped, even with supplemental oxygen, meditation came to the rescue, which lowered her high respiration rate (number of breathing per minute) and helped her find comfort.

Music has many wonderful benefits for stress management and overall health. It can help you calm your physiology without making a conscious effort, and that can alleviate stress from your mind. Music can also lift your mood, slow your breathing, and create other stress-inducing changes. I certainly experienced those benefits myself.

Conclusion:

My mom is at home now and relies a lot on spiritual and guided meditations. I have to thank meditation for that, whether in form of guided meditation or spiritual meditation in form of praying. In conclusion, my recent encounter with family crisis and national political turmoil was very educational, as I have learned to address both through both focused and mindfulness meditations and spiritual meditation.

Question:

Have you reached a similar crossroad in your own life. If yes, what did you do to overcome your stressors? Please respond in the comment section below.

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The Beautiful World of Meditation

meditation

Hi there my beautiful lovelies! Hope you guys are doing well and staying safe. Today, I want to share with you a post regarding meditation and it’s practice.

What is Meditation?

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is whatisnotmeditation.jpg

I want to start by defining meditation. According to Wikipedia, “Meditation is a practice where an individual uses a technique – such as mindfulness, or focusing the mind on a particular object, thought, or activity – to train attention and awareness, and achieve a mentally clear and emotionally calm and stable state.”

Meditation isn’t about becoming a different person, a new person, or even a better person. It’s about training in awareness and getting a healthy sense of perspective. You’re not trying to turn off your thoughts or feelings. You’re learning to observe them without judgment. And eventually, you may start to better understand them as well.

Types of Meditation:

Although there isn’t a right or wrong way to meditate, it’s important to find a practice that meets your needs and complements your personality.

There are 9 popular types of meditation practice:

  • Mindfulness Meditation
  • Spiritual Meditation
  • Focused Meditation
  • Movement Meditation
  • Mantra Meditation
  • Transcendental Meditation
  • Progressive Relaxation
  • Loving-Kindness Meditation
  • Visualization Meditation

Mindfulness Meditation:

Mindfulness meditation, my favorite and specialty, originates from Buddhist teachings and is the most popular meditation technique in the West. In mindfulness meditation, you pay attention to your thoughts as they pass through your mind. You don’t judge the thoughts or become involved with them. You simply observe and take note of any patterns. This type of meditation is good for people who don’t have a teacher to guide them, as it can be easily practiced alone.

Spiritual Meditation:

Spiritual meditation is used in Eastern religions, such as Hinduism and Daoism, and in Christian faith. It’s similar to prayer in that you reflect on the silence around you and seek a deeper connection with your God or Universe. This practice is beneficial for those who thrive in silence and seek spiritual growth.

Focused Meditation:

Focused meditation involves concentration using any of the five senses. Try counting mala beads, listening to a gong, or staring at a candle flame. As the name suggests, this practice is ideal for anyone who requires additional focus in their life.

Movement Meditation:

Although most people think of yoga when they hear movement meditation, this practice may include walking through the woods, gardening, qigong, and other gentle forms of motion. Movement meditation is good for people who find peace in action and prefer to let their minds wander.

Mantra Meditation:

Mantra meditation is prominent in many teachings, including Hindu and Buddhist traditions. This type of meditation uses a repetitive sound to clear the mind. It can be a word, phrase, or sound, such as the popular “Om.” It doesn’t matter if your mantra is spoken loudly or quietly. After chanting the mantra for some time, you’ll be more alert and in tune with your environment. This allows you to experience deeper levels of awareness.

Transcendental Meditation:

Transcendental Meditation is a popular type of meditation. This practice has been the subject of numerous studies in the scientific community. This practice is for those who like structure and are serious about maintaining a meditation practice.

Progressive Relaxation:

Also known as body scan meditation, progressive relaxation is a practice aimed at reducing tension in the body and promoting relaxation. Oftentimes, this form of meditation involves slowly tightening and relaxing one muscle group at a time throughout the body. This form of meditation is often used to relieve stress and unwind before bedtime.

Loving-Kindness Meditation:

Loving-kindness meditation is used to strengthen feelings of compassion, kindness, and acceptance toward oneself and others. Because this type of meditation is intended to promote compassion and kindness, it may be ideal for those holding feelings of anger or resentment.

Visualization Meditation:

Visualization meditation is a technique focused on enhancing feelings of relaxation, peace, and calmness by visualizing positive scenes or images. With this practice, it’s important to imagine the scene vividly and use all five senses to add as much detail as possible. Many people use visualization meditation to boost their mood, reduce stress levels, and promote inner peace.

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2020-11-03T00:00:00

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until

2020 Election Day

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I Am Free – The Story of My Personal Epiphany

Hi there my beautiful lovelies! Hope you guys are doing and staying safe. Today I want to talk about my transformation and how it has set me free. I am free.

Unload The Old And Embrace The New:

i am free

My dear lovelies! Before I dug deeper into the subject of my freedom, let’s go back a little further. You guys already know this story. Since childhood, I have been constantly dealing with anxiety, distraction, and more anxiety. Every decision I made, I second-guessed myself and if things go right, I would have a panic attack. I was sinking deeper and deeper into darkness, and ADHD did not help.

The First Step:

Sinking deeper into the dark world of paranoia, anxiety, and negativity is a big burden to deal with. I always felt palpitation and nausea and all other physical symptoms that became very overwhelming and suffocating. I started burying my agony but manifested into overwhelming physical pain. I ended up passing out and throwing up a lot. Of course, the scientific world, the medical world called it Gastroparesis and low blood pressure. I was drowning.

After a few years of medications and intense side effects, I stopped throwing up and gained weight. However, I kept feeling sick to my stomach. I could not breathe, I was drowning in my own pain. With that pain, I finished my undergraduate and graduate degrees and started my first full-time job. It was in that job, I found the light.

I was helping with a clinical study on the impact of guided meditation on stress and anxiety among help care professionals. My boss could sense my struggles and asked me to just participate in the study without being a study participant. So my journey began.

Acknowledge The Problem Without Being Consumed By It:

As I have mentioned in previous posts, it was during one of those study sessions, I found myself, or at least the beginning. When I realized how bound and overwhelmed I was, I started questioning myself and everything I stood for. For the first time in my life, I felt so lost. Even when I was a college freshman, I knew what I wanted and I had my life figured out. Boy was I wrong.

After doing guided imagery and meditation for a few weeks, I became lost. I fell like a tiny fish in a big ocean with fins cut off and unable to swim. It happened for a few years and then came the day when I felt completely alone for the first time in my life.

My dear lovelies! I lost my grandma, my guardian angel. With her death, I started questioning death and dying and my purpose. I felt remorse for not spending more time with her when she was alive. My grandma had such a strong belief in me. Of her 16 grandchildren, I was her favorite. With my grandma gone, I was depressed, frustrated. I was alone. It was during that time an opportunity arrived. I completed my second graduate degree, which kept me distracted for two years. After graduation, I got the chance to get certified through a 6 weeks course on mindful meditation. It was the first step towards my freedom.

Using the Right Brain:

The first thing I learned to use in mindfulness meditation is to learn to use the right brain often. I started pained again. With those right brain exercise, my mind started to open up to see beyond me and other selfish attitudes. My right brain started to open up my mind, until a couple of years ago, when I lost my aunt to lung cancer and my uncle a year later to pancreatic cancer.

Perhaps the most devastating event for me was the diagnosis of my RA related interstitial lung disease or RA-ILD, characterized by scarring of the lung. It regressed back and ended up in the Emergency Room several times for migraine and gastrointestinal issues.

Stairways to Freedom:

Even with my regular guided meditation, I felt lost. However, it all changed last year, when I saw the earth’s true beauty. I was in Hawaii. My dear lovelies! My trip to heaven felt like divine intervention. I was up every single day, watch the beautiful sunrise against the backdrops of the Diamondhead Crater.

It was the beginning of the end of my sleeping in. The beauty of mother nature made so mesmerized by its beauty. It then hit me, nature is so beautiful and we are all robbing it blindly with our pollutions, and carbon footprint. I realized that life is more than the McDonalized society we are living in, it’s more than the robotic emotionless world. Once I got to see the beautiful mountains and all the exotic flowers and lives, the more I appreciate its beauty. I evolved completely.

The Final Straw?

Every day of my stay in Hawaii felt like constant meditation. I was feeling lighter and freer. Until this year, when COVID-19 hit. The death of millions worldwide and over 218,000 here in the US brought the whole perspective of living in the current moment took a whole new meaning for me.

Hearing the story of so many people and the deterioration of my mom’s health due to lack of timely follow-up interventions, made me realized we cannot take life and our loved ones for granted. It was during that time, the principle of living in the moment got instilled in me. I have been freed.

My dear lovelies! The devastating pandemic made me so much more empathetic than I have been my entire life. I starting seeing my anger disappearing. I become more forgiving and happy. I am light as a feather and am ready to fly. For the first time, my life became more than my physical life. It became more about the spiritual one.

Now, I am no longer worried about things I cannot control. I started seeing people who used to make me angry and pieces of the big puzzle of life. For the first time, life has more than just me. When you see the biggest massacre of human life by an unrelenting pandemic, how can life be less than beyond just you?

I don’t know if I have awakened my spirit, but I have awakened my inner self. I no longer get trapped by my physical symptoms. It is very true. In fact, one physician told me last week that some people screams and cries in the ER, and then the various studies find nothing, then there are individuals, who look normal but the tests show a scary outcome. Which one is me?

You guessed it right, I am the later one. My doctors are more worried about me than I am. I just know things happen to you when you are ready for it. I am so much for fortunate than others. I have a job, I have my family, I am loving co-workers. I am grateful for every moment of my life and look at me with compassion. I am free.

My dear beautiful lovelies! Have you experienced self-epiphany moments in your lives? Please comment below.

I have not come to this point in my life easier. I am mindful and try to live my life intentionally. I live each and every day as if there is no tomorrow, as this pandemic has taught us more than anything, there may not be a tomorrow. More than ever, I am open to possibility. I know that I am a small fish in the big oceans, but instead of drowning, I am learning of my surroundings to ride the waves. I am morphing into someone who measures success by the difference I make in this world.

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